ENABLER
I am an enabler and I feel the need to always HAVE to help everyone that walks into my life, without thinking of myself, but when I take the time to do that I feel much pain…..so much pain it’s hard to breathe. Then I step ot of ME….SIERRA and live as the “enabler” because I can’t bare the pain and I’m still suffering because I’m a soft-hearted person and I can only sit and imagine if i’ve caused someone else pain, then I feel their pain on top of mine and my soft heart becomes cold, my insides torn. Every breathe I take closer and closer to the last. Life is a blur…A journey and if there were no bumps it would be boring, but here there are no bumps…not hills….but mountains that block the view and I become dead….in and out of consciousness, BLIND to my surroundings. Knowing that people…humans…friends….family….cant help…all they can do is encourage. God is the only one, but I feel drifted….torn….as he holds me tight and pulls closer…I pull away…….and I am stuck. Unknowing……of the danger………..
